


HYDRA are not GOONS

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drabble, Funny, Gen, Humor, I Don't Even Know, goons - Freeform, mission statement, tie-in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 23:04:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/855017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hydra agents are not goons. GOONS are foolish, incompetent, and essentially nothing except pretty to look at.<br/>Thus, they make a statement to the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	HYDRA are not GOONS

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Liris](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liris/gifts).



> I don't even know, guys. I was just minding my own business working on The Inner Sanctum of Geniusness and one of my crackier muses who goes by the name of Mimsy Porpington was like  
> STOP.  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> BOOM.  
> And thus it is written.

We, the Union of United Henchmen of HYDRA, are not GOONS!

Goons, or the Gratuitous Ocular Operational Non-essential Sociocentricities, are foolish imcompetent idiots incapable of even opening a jar of pickles. Or the fridge door between them and the pickles. They often are unable to even locate said fridge. Their only job is to stand there and look pretty while some of us get the REAL work done.

_"Doesn't sound all that innaccurate-" "We advise your shutting up, [insert captive of choice]"_

As such, we are sending a statement to the world by breaking into Avengers Tower on the [classified] of [classified], by order of [classified].

_"See, that right there, taking orders, is why you are goons -" "Shut up or we will shut you up."_

This is our mission: To show the world - nay, the universe! - that we are. not. GOONS. And, if in doing so we also capture ourselves a pretty little redhead, so be it.

_"This is not going to end well for you -" "Oh, someone just gag the prisoner."_

**Author's Note:**

> Gifted to Liris in return for the fabulousness that is [Team-Bonding, or Tony and Clint are Far too Easily Amused](http://archiveofourown.org/works/712812). That fic has given me a lot of laughs and I really hope to return the favor.


End file.
